green_dreams: Books, and coffee cup with "Happiness is a cup of coffee and a really good book" on the side. (Default)
Specifically, it seems, that time of year when I start getting very unhappy about stuff. I realize it's been more or less a constant thread for a while (this is okay--unfucking one's habitat is a process, and I am making progress), but it feels more acute now than it did, say, a few weeks ago.

*cue the "oh my god, books, why do I have so many books, argh argh argh flail" screed. Am sure many of you can fill it in from context and past experience*

I am coming to think that one of the absolute best things about Farthing party was the lack of a dealer's room.

I'm trying to catch up, and clean up (which is interesting with the occasional dermatographia flare-up, I will just say), and carry on. Please be patient.
green_dreams: (...crap)
Dear brain,

If you are going to give me nightmares about needing to escape a city that has been invaded by aliens that turn people into horrible monsters, could you leave out the bit where I make my mother cry? For an hour? Because that was really upsetting.

No love,

Me
green_dreams: Grey cat asleep on bright yellow-and-red ball of yarn. (yarn is cuddly)
Today's been... odd. Not very odd, just a kind of one-degree-dislocated bit-off-kilter odd. I feel like I'm fuzzy on details, misunderstanding things. Tiny things, like "Oh! I thought you wanted to go out at noon, I didn't even consider the possibility that a bit after noon would be okay and it didn't occur to me to ask, yes in that case I would love to watch TV and get ready after and go with you." Not a big deal, just... drips of molasses in the gears.

I spoke to mom today, and she sounded a bit down. So I called her back and she sounded a little better, and then I called her again just a little while ago, and she sounded better but I keep hearing a dip at the end of the conversation and worrying she wants to cry.

I am telling myself that (1) she is allowed to have off days too, especially when everyone (her everyone) is getting either cold or flu and the weather is doldrum-inducing and (2) I have this occasional tendancy to overanalyze and worry about how horrible things are and (3) I cannot do anything about this right now. So I am going to make sure I get a decent night's sleep on it (I am side-eyeing you, cats), and will touch base with her tomorrow.

Also I will possibly go outside tomorrow. I have been avoiding the outside because Weather. (Although it's meant to go up above freezing Tuesday and only get back down to 0°C on Friday! *winter cheers*)

...I have just realized, thanks to LJ's helpful timestamp, that I have been picking at this post for half an hour, and that is not getting me any closer to a good night's sleep. I have been trying to get something I am pleased with done each day, and mostly I've been succeeding. Today, I am thinking that will be "going to bed when I start to get tired."[1]
---
[1] It's been okay these first six days, but I am fully prepared to accept that there may be days in the future that are low enough that I end up putting "got dressed" on the list. Getting enough sleep seems a lot more helpful.

Slow day.

Jan. 2nd, 2013 10:01 pm
green_dreams: (paper procrastination)
It feels a little like I've been wading through molasses. There are things I would like to have done that I am not ready to do, and other ones that I got distracted from and did not get done.

On the other hand, I did get the screens for the living room windows washed. And sorted out the natural gas leak from the meter without freaking out, even if I got flaily after it was all sorted out. (Flaily enough that it is worth making note of for later.) And I updated someone's website for them. Finished Black Wings, although I didn't write a review for it yet (I'm practicing). Got up at a reasonable hour. Dressed and left the house. Took out the garbage.

(It's an "accentuate the positive" kind of day; or at least I am making it be one because I am trying to avoid the doldrums.)

(In relation to this: I will note that a Google image search on kittens noses flowers is occasionally a helpful stopgap. Some of them are so cute.)
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