(help)

Eternal gratitude to the person who can provide me with a way to get to sleep in the next eleven minutes, so that I can get at least one paltry hour of rest before the goddamn alarm goes off. Seriously. Eternal. I'm so tired I'm sitting here crying. In the my-eyes-won't-stop-watering-way, but you know.

(Please do keep in mind that while extreme measures are being considered at this point, the tools to implement them may not be at hand.)