Okay.
There's a dog--a beagle/Dalmation cross, we think--in Texas. Austin, IIRC.
His name is currently Darwin, because Snoopy was dumb and Boulevard got left behind and whoever named him "Oh SHIT!" when they hit him with the car didn't stick around.
He's better now.

Anyway, Darwin is by all accounts a sweet, not-very-bright, well-behaved, fixed one-to-two-year-old puppy who needs a home. Details are
here. If you're local, there may be help in getting him down here; just, please, he needs a place to stay.