Oh, joy.

[green_dreams]

A good friend of mine--commodorified--coined the term "helpy" to describe what happens when you explain you're doing something, and why, and get a bunch of responses explaining how to do something different. They're well-meaning, but they are not actually helpful. At all. And have nothing to do with your plans or efforts or anything like that, besides casually dismissing them.

I didn't quite have to deal with helpy this morning, but it seems to be in the same general ballpark. I've been dealing with someone who's running a game--we've not met in person, just e-mailed and chatted online--and I submitted a character sheet off to him. Player name, character name, stats, abilities, yadda yadda yadda.

They sent it back with a couple of small changes, which is fine.

They also changed my last name to John's last name.

Despite my last name being what I typed. And what's displayed on my e-mails. And my e-mail address. And, you know, what they've seen as my last name during every communication we've had.

I am less than thrilled.

EDIT: Apology offered and accepted, record corrected, mellowness resumed.

Comments

[thathatedguy.livejournal.com]

You didn't take your husband's last name?
Harlot.

[torrain.livejournal.com]

That's "slatternly Jezebel" to you, sir. :)

The fact that the legal name change in Ontario is retroactive kind of bothers me. I was born as Frances Kathleen Moffatt. I'd feel uneasy having my birth certificate say I wasn't. It's a Not True thing. I'm looking at the options of using it without legally changing it, just to know what's possible and where, but...

Augh. Lots of augh.

[oni-neko.livejournal.com]

some people still have specific and often outdated ideas about what it means to be married to someone. since I have had female friends who upon getting married didn't change their last name and I have also known those who did, either option seems normal to me. and thus making any assumption about these things seems to me to be presumptuous. I figured that you would tell us if you were going to change your last name to John's. and that by saying nothing about it that you didn't.

[torrain.livejournal.com]

Pretty much. The fact that it's a retroactive name change, and would change my birth certificate, bothers me.

Still not sure on what the various options for using it without changing it are. I can get apparently get a driver's license[1] with his last name without getting a legal name change, if I just present the marriage license. But I don't know about banks, credit cards, library cards, phone bills...

Augh.

(Have I mentioned that on a purely aesthetic level, I think John's last name is prettier than mine?)
---
[1] I know I don't drive, but it's $20/year for gov't-issued photo ID that doesn't have the can't-use-this of health cards, which is often handy.

[oni-neko.livejournal.com]

Ah the things i didn't know about the process.

and no you didn't mention that about his last name. and I am well aware of the usefulness of the nearly universal id.

[kookiemaster.livejournal.com]

It's kind of odd that this would come in a game. Btw, if it is who I thinnk it is and the small non-name related changes bother you, you can ask them to fix them ... they made a mistake on mine and switched it back quickly.

When / if I ever marry, I would like us both to change our last names, preferably for something cool sounding, with a fake family crest and ficticious family history.

[torrain.livejournal.com]

Nah, the non-name-related stuff is fine. (As, I believe, is the mutual changing of last names to a new one. It's even free within a certain time period after the marriage.)